A Scrappy Dog In A Poodle Parlour
Or maybe your thoughts are more like this – how did I get here? Who am I to tell/do this?
Classic imposter syndrome symptoms. Feeling like your success is not deserved and having the thought that, any minute now, it will all come crashing down.
But where does it come from and more importantly, how do we stop it happening?
Self-doubt is one of the most common signs of imposter syndrome and effectively robs you of being able to enjoy achievement. People can experience it as an internal sense of believing that you are not as competent as others perceive you as being.
It can be hard dealing with success and genuinely feeling comfortable with achieving your goals, or completing tasks successfully. And not believing that you have earned this success on your own merits can undermine own sense of yourself, leading to fear, worry, anxiety, depression and potential burnout in the constant strive to do better.
The Perfectionist:
This type of imposter primarily focuses on how they do things, to the point where they demand perfection – coming from themselves – in every aspect of their lives.
However, since perfection isn’t a realistic goal, they can’t meet these standards. So, instead of acknowledging the hard work they put in after achieving something, they might berate and criticise themselves for tiny mistakes and feel ashamed of their supposed failure.
This imposter might even try avoiding new things if they believe they can’t accomplish it perfectly the first time.
The Superhero:
These imposters link competence to their ability to succeed in every role they hold: employee, parent, student, or friend. In their opinion, failing to navigate all of the demands of these roles successfully proves their inadequacy.
To succeed, they feel they must push themselves to the limit, expending lots of energy and as much as possible for every role. But even still, with this maximum effort, their imposter feelings may not be resolved.
They might think that they should be able to do more and that it should be easier.
None of this may seem a particularly big deal in isolated incidents, however, when an imposter syndrome behaviour becomes more ingrained, we begin to lose ourselves and it can have some complex side effects. The fear of not being adequate enough can lead to mental health complications in some cases. It is not uncommon to experience one, or many of these symptoms:
- Frustration
- Depression
- fear of beng a fraud
- Lack of self-confidence
- Anxiety
- Shame
There are many ways to stop this cycle and begin to be yourself once again, being able to be proud of yourself, and maintaining good mental health. One way is to use a re-frame technique.
Reframe your thoughts:
It can be of great benefit to recognise and notice your own beliefs and emotions and use this information to add perspective and balance. Journal writing is a creative and effective way to gather the information so you can later analyse what can be learned from it, what changes could be made and what is important and valid.
Asking yourself questions can be another way challenge the negative thoughts and gain perspective. Are your thoughts actually true? Where is the evidence?
Embrace your successes, no matter how small they may seem. This will help the brain to reset itself and begin to notice the evidence for you so you will have more faith in your own internal dialogue and go on to enjoy your triumphs.
Talking about a problem is always a good idea. Whether you have a trusted friend, colleague or seek professional support, a problem shared is a problem halved.
Please feel free to contact me for an informal chat
I offer all new clients a FREE 30 minute consultation to allow the opportunity to ask any questions and plan from there.