Life Should Be More Like Lemon Curd
The reason I thought about lemon curd is that I like the actual consistency of it when it is homemade. I have very fond memories of standing with my Grandma at her stove with an ancient enamel double boiler saucepan, squeezing lemons and making the most wonderful creamy, sunshine yellow gloop; oh, and the taste – amazing.
The consistency was smooth, soft but not runny, oh no, it would stand a good spread across some fresh baked bread! It was, to coin Goldilocks’ phrase, just right.
In my own day to day life the word consistency means something slightly different. For me, it is a method of moving forward, getting progress on something. It may be wanting to embed a habit or taking steps towards a goal, whatever it is, it’s the consistency of the actions that gets me there.
Motivation is what gets us interested and even excited about making changes and moving towards a goal that we have set for ourselves, or, that has been set by someone else. In order to be successful, it is important that the goal is within reach to start with so making small mini goals will help keep you on the road to gaining the bigger goal down the line. The problems start when motivation wanes.
We all have those days when motivation is difficult to find and we then at risk of giving up. If we partner motivation with a more sustainable consistency, then we find that progress continues to be made.
“You can’t expect to succeed if you only put in work on the days you feel like it.” – Unknown
So, how do we begin to add a more consistent approach?
Good question.
I approach consistency with the mindset involving, routine, repetition and evaluation. And set a time frame in which to work before reviewing.
If we focus on big goals, when we inevitably lose motivation, we can easily give up because we feel we are no-where near the goal. Making smaller goals that add up to the bigger one helps keep us engaged with the process because we can acknowledge the “little wins.” This activates the pleasure sensor in the brain, which releases hormones which help keep us motivated to do the next bit. This in itself is habit forming behaviour because the brain will get to like the hits of pleasure and crave more. Think about the post exercise buzz here as a great example of what keeps us engaged.
Next tip is to schedule. A to-do list is great as a way to get all the jobs, tasks and responsibilities out of your mind and down on paper but if it’s not actually in the diary it is unlikely to happen. Another great idea for scheduling is to begin to assess how much time things will take. We often over-estimate and therefore think we don’t have the time, or under-estimate and get in a pickle. Both of these will cause a problem as it gives the brain grounds to question your judgement and persuade you not to do the thing in the first place! It causes a mental block around the task to be accomplished and can paralyse us into inaction.
Another useful tip in the encouragement of consistency, is to evaluate progress. It is vital to know so you can keep going or take the opportunity to tweak the plan a little on a kind of ‘trial and error’ method. A daily check in with yourself will help support this, and a great journal question is – “What tells me I’m doing well?”
People often do not consider exactly how they are performing against a personally set or work-related goal, so ask yourself “How do I know how I’m doing?”
Reflection is a great tool also. Spending a few minutes each day is a vital component of consistency. And, it helps to identify the wins so the brain can be signalled to release the hormones that keep us engaged.
Working with a friend or having someone to help keep you accountable can increase your chances of success and help you to define and eliminate the things that get in the way.
How will you know when you have achieved your goal?
This is another great journal prompt. Let your imagination wander and discover what your sense of success looks and feels like. This ‘dress rehearsal’ approach to visualisation relaxes the mind, irons out the worries and the hesitancy and allows you to keep moving forward with a clear objective.
For more tips on journal writing, please visit https://www.susangraingertherapy.co.uk/journaling/
And if lack of time is a big part of why you feel you don’t make progress, please visit https://www.susangraingertherapy.co.uk/introductory-sessions-and-workshops/